Sajha may cease to exist... as a helpful site for a lot of Nepalis if certain things are not addressed.

Lately there has been a lot of horseplay going on in sajha which has the potential of undermining the usefulness of sajha so I had been meaning to write something to inform a select group of users that sajha is not a playground for their personal entertainment. There are different types of entertainment that can be enjoyed by everyone but not the type that is achieved by ridiculing others, name calling, posting vulgar words, and discouraging others from being part of sajha.

I had been meaning to write but I was postponing a bit but the following post has indicated that my action is getting more urgent.

"साझामा आउने अति "बुद्धिजिबी", "चाहिने भन्दा धेरै बढी गम्भिर" अनि "पाखे टाइप" हरुलाई बिच्काउनु नै मेरो एक मात्रा उद्देश्य हो| "

The particular person had been banned in the past as well, due to spreading negativity, and after months of him imploring me to unban him I activated his account again; and looks like he is there again ignoring the only major policy of sajha - that of tolerance.

In sajha, noone is a बुद्धिजिबी or पाखे. Everyone is ordinary, some more ordinary than others but everyone deserving the same respect, tolerance and the ability to post in sajha without fear of retribution from a self-proclaimed individual or a group who want sajha to be the way they deem fit for their personal entertainment. Everyone has a right to post in sajha that is not abusive to anyone, that is not intolerant of others. Everyone has a right to agree to disagree without being offensive. Noone has a right to be offensive to others for their thoughts and ideas which are not offensive to anyone.

Sajha has a potential of helping out a lot of people in their pursuit of knowledge, roommates, general questions, immigration issues, and essentially the sky is the limit on what can be achieved by helping each other out and collaborating on positive activities. It definitely is not going to be undermined by a single user or a group of users who may be under the impression that sajha is like the Japanese donated sajha bus - of which they want to break the window, tear the seats according to their whims for their personal entertainment.

To date, thousands of people have benefitted from sajha and more will in the coming future. This is just a note to inform few select users that their language and attitude needs to improve if they want to continue to be part of this community.

All postings after this will be monitored to ensure that the policy of  tolerance is respected and if it is clear that someone does not want to be a part of sajha then we will make sure to give a fitting and well deserved farewell.

Been a long time lurker here. I refrain from posting just because of the things San mentioned. Old sajha users remember the quality and variety of posts that used to be on the site not too long ago. In fact, I dont see too many of the old sajha users around. No wonder because belittling and vulgarity seems to be the norm here these days. Folks, just because you can type and hide your face on the other side of the computer does not mean you should say something that you would never do in person. Be respectful of the Sajha community!

San, I know its very difficult for you to monitor each and every thread. Have you given a thought about having moderators that can make the job easier for you? You may not want to give them administrative rights to block users, but they can flag a post and report to you thereby making your job easier. This may work better than the current downvote format thats on here.

Thanks for your effort in keeping this site clean and giving Nepalese around the world a virtual meeting place.

 Lot of users left Sajha because they could no longer stand filth and venom in Sajha.  It's high time San stepped in.  Good on you.

Wow, so many of us were eagerly waiting for this day to come and look at the response! San, be the Man (boss) of Sajha and do whatever it takes to keep it clean and running. Don't care about those ppl who are talking about "rights of free speech" who doesn't even know their own RESPONSIBILITY toward "community" they live in. Irony!

I am very happy to read San's post about his realization about the illness of this website. I used to be addict due to interesting posts here once upon a time, but peep sometime because of nostalgia of early years of sajha. If you recall, sajha was about to cease primarily financial reAsons and some of us used to contribute for it going out of salvage. Now it may cease because of lack of quality postings, etc. For my utpatyangness, I also used to be tossed out by San, and I used to miss sajha the period he barred me posting using the nick...but that definitely helped me to get leas addicted here and used the time spent here in other productive activities. In any case, sajha is a very useful site for information sharing. I even know some people finding their life partner via this site. But, it is very sad to know from San's this post that some people are misusing or abusing the website. Sajha must not cease. I have not seen any other brand name site other than this useful for Nepali living in north America. Even the info are copy and pasted, you still get consolidated and updated info here. I think sajha has enough revenue to employ some part time monitor so that it could warn or weed out evil pests around here for good. Once again, kudos to San for his wonderful service to Nepali communities!

I don't like the way sajha admin is blocking so called 'unwanted' users.. He can silently block those users - that's what most web admins do. He can email the message to the concerned user as well.

But with the deletion of posts and displaying "hey see.. i am the admin of this site.. I hate this user.. but this guy was pleading .. and I bestwoed mercy upon him in past..  bla bla.." kind of message in bright colored ink, does not look good... and it gives this situation a color of 'extremism'.

SAN can prevent users from posting at his will (cuz he is "The Admin"), but he does not need to make any big noise or unncessary publicity while doing so.

peace!

I am just happy that as popular as Sajha is with our younger generation, there is no more pronographic videos included on the discussion like it once used to be..
Sajha Admin must know that our younger generation of Nepalis are very familiar with Sajha and they like most adults come to sajha on a daily basis....I have been told by so many younger people, age group 10-17 that they saw such and such things on sajha..hence, please make sure people who post obscene pictures and videos are also banned.....Sajha should not just think that its audience is A SINGLE MAN looking for a hot girl..or just about any girl...thogh the majority of the people might be...

But, sajha has grown a lot in its size and in its ability to impact the Nepali community throughout the world and with such popularity and power comes greater responsility.So,  I hope the Sajha admin will make more respopnsible judgement in the future as well in making sure it is FEMALE and FAMILY friendly...

Thank you,

Hello dhhirojha,

I am not sure if you are Admin. I only know two nicks with admin authority. Anyway, let me make you clear the following things:

I was not banned because of using foul word that I can see in most of the posts around here these days. Instead
I used to tease some of my favorite pets, and they used to complain admin... He he
I never pleaded to reopen my nick. Instead, the ban was time bound which allow to be active here. It was automated most of the time, but sometime at the discretion of the admin.

Also you could imagine egos among posters here for various reasons like political beliefs, etc leading them to lobby against ...yo sansar ma chulyaha ta Jata tatai huncha ni...even they could not differentiate what is humor and real stuffs..
Anyway it was real fun here then...

Interestingly where the guys like sitara ashu nepe punte kalamki trikal

Finally ragging San was kind of adventure... He he...don't do that here. He is cool and good at heart...

Peace

Sanji,
Well said. I hope it makes a difference.

San dai,

We come from a very poor country. A very poor country. We Nepalese are used to getting beaten up. We all have to work in foreign countries because we cannot afford to stay in our own nations. So you would think that sense of humour would come naturally to us. I think us Nepalese, our greatest problem is that we don't know how to laugh at ourselves. Our egoes are way too big for our mouths. Now, if our mouth became wider to laugh at ourselves than our ego, then we Nepalese would be in the right shape.

Why have we Nepalese forgotton to laugh at ourselves? Why do we take ourselves so seriously? Why take ourselves so damned seriously?

We Nepalese have braved through the Rana Sasan, Panchayat kal, all because of our sense of humour. Where have we lost that sense of humour?

The medicine that we need for most of our problems is a sense of humour. If we all just laughed more, I feel it would solve most of the problems of Nepalese all over the world.

Where ever Nepalese go in the world, they struggle. What we need to help each other develop is a thicker skin. Let us help our brothers and sisters laugh at themselves before anyone else does. Let us show what Gorkhalis are made of to the world. We are made of mountains within us. And we can hate on ourselves way more and better than anyone else can.

This struggle is not limited to any one Nepali. It is all of our collective struggle. The only way to survive it is togethor. All of us are responsible for making each other stronger. Today it is him. Yesterday it is her. And tomorrow it will be yet another. At the end of the day you have to tell the world, do what I may, but I am a Nepali. There is nothing new to how you are treating me. I have taken a lot worse for a lot less.

I am a Nepali. I was born to suffer. And as much as I suffer, I have it way better than my brothers and sisters suffering in my own country.

If I am to suffer, let me suffering be an inspiration to the people of my nation. If my blood is to run, let it guide the way to truth. If you will rip me assunder, then let the bones of my body make my country wealthier. I am a Nepali. Being any less, is not acceptable to me.

Nepal Mata ki jaya!


Think of all the kaam garne's in homes all over Kathmandu. Think of how they are treated. Think of all the Khates on the streets of Nepal. How do we Nepalese treat them? Think of every poor and powerless guy out there. How is their teeth kicked in by the more powerful amongst us. Who is their protection?

Do they have a SAN dai to protect them? Do we have a SAN dai who kicks out all the bullies from Nepal who mistreats these folk?

The source of Nepal's problems is a disease called insecurity. There is no cure for this disease. And it eats inside out. The more insecure you are, the more you see things that make you insecure. It is a vicious disease that eats inside out.

I repeat: there is no known cure for this disease!

And looking through the eyes of insecurity, the most loving and respectful of people look evil and dangerous. There doesn't seem to be any known cure for this disease called insecurity. It seems that we Nepalese have no choice but to be eaten alive by this disease. Sucked in by it's blackhole. A cold black hole on the inside...spinning inwards...self-devouring...threatened by any form of light anywhere. Threatened by any sign of hope, joy, beauty, love, strength or self-esteem. Everything threatens insecurity. 

And anything that goes against insecurity should die. Die. Death is the only mercy for insecurity. Is that what evil ultimately is? Is it it insecurity? Is that what the American President said when he said: We have nothing to fear but fear itself?

What is worse than one insecure person is many insecure people. Why? Because the black hole grows. It grows. It f***ing grows. It grows like a mouth...wider...wider...devouring the whole universe in it's whirlpool. AAAAAAAAH!

Like that. Swallow. Gulp. Yummy.

There is a negative synergy with insecurity. When a group of insecure people are togethor, they feed into each other's insecurity. It's a vicious cycle. It just grows and grows in size.

That is what is known as the crabs who pull each other back into the bucket. They don't let anyone get ahead. Everything and every one is a threat to these crabs.

But, this insecurity is like a blazing fire that is never satisfied. It burns...and burns..like a forest fire that cannot be put out. It consumes so much, and yet, like a hungry stomach, it growls and rumbles for more. It grinds and mashes it's teeth on anything with a form. Anything that stands bold is it's prey. Prey to be taken down through a straw. Sucked in....swallowed. Burp.

It is this insecurity that has consumed Nepal. Nothing else.

And we, the rest of us, looking at the magic called insecurity, we are paralyzed by it's awesome and ever changing shape. It's capabilities seem limitless. You either play insecurities game or you die. That is the law of the universe.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

We all were born from insecurity. We conquered it. We formed an ego. And in the end, we lose ourself when our ego is consumed by insecurity. 

The fight is not outside my brothers and sisters. The fight is within you.

Untill you win the fight inside, you will never win the outside fight.

I don't care if you are a billionaire. I don't care if you have the power to crush boulders. I don't care if you have the intellect that can do sommer-saults and eat potatoes with salt. I don't care if your heart can turn into molten jelly or liquid mental. I don't care if you have the power of God himself.

Untill you can escape the jaws of the python known as insecurity, it will swallow you within itself. There is no escaping it.

Self-pity is a disease. It is the cycle of justification and victimization that creates insecurity. It is a self-pertuating cycle. It is disempowering. Don't do it. The more you do it, the more you will find the justification to be a victim. It is an endless cycle. There is no way out of it.

Self-pity is not self-love. Don't mistake it. It is self-disgust. It is self-hatred disguised as self-love. Eat that disease of self-pity and it will consume you. It is self-disgust disguised as self-respect.

There is a healthy way of building your ego and there is an unhealthy way of building your ego.

First thing to do in building your ego is to love yourself. Refuse to hate yourself, no matter what happens. But this is easier said than done because you need to believe your words and action. It is very difficult to do so.
The more you love yourself, the more self-trust and confidence you build. It's a self-pertuating cycle. This is the virtuous cycle. This is positive synergy.

The more your strength comes from loving yourself, and building self-trust and confidence, the more no one can take that sense of security from you.

This is how a gentleman named Viktor Frankl survived the concentration camp from the Nazis in Germany.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

His Nazi captors had more power. But he had more freedom. Despite them killing his family. Despite them trying to physically hurt him. Despite them trying to psychicly ruin him. How did he do that?

Where did he get the strength to do that?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

It was due to his and others' suffering in these camps that he came to his hallmark conclusion that even in the most absurd, painful and dehumanized situation, life has potential meaning and that therefore even suffering is meaningful. This conclusion served as a strong basis for Frankl's logotherapy. An example of Frankl's idea of finding meaning in the midst of extreme suffering is found in his account of an experience he had while working in the harsh conditions of the Auschwitz concentration camp:

... We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and through large puddles, along the one road leading from the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the butts of their rifles. Anyone with very sore feet supported himself on his neighbor's arm. Hardly a word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage talk. Hiding his mouth behind his upturned collar, the man marching next to me whispered suddenly: "If our wives could see us now! I do hope they are better off in their camps and don't know what is happening to us."

That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another up and onward, nothing was said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife's image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.

A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth -- that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way—an honorable way—in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, "The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory...." ^[7]

THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES...  I think everyone knows this story....but this one is Sajha version...

90% Sajha members said....San bro, you did great. San bro, this. San bro, that...chuna, makhan..jelly...what else..o peanut butter, jam they use everything on Sajha admin .  Ani, Sajha Admin ta Makha..

But 10% Sajha memebrs like me said...San bro, you're wrong, San bro, why now? ...karela soup, lemon water, etc was given to Sajha Admin..but Sajha Admin gone mad..tito ra amelo foods....

the first foods were sweet but all JUNK FOODS, ...the second one was TITO RA AMILO..BUT  healthy food and drink...

C the differences...

Oops! I thought the posting by dhirraj*** . Thanks San for the note...

 अस्ती काठमाडौं जादा सडक सडक मा फोहोरमैलाको दुर्गन्धीत ढिस्को अनी नाक बन्द गरी पास गर्नु पर्ने। साझा पनि त्यस्तै भईसकेको थियो। दुई दिन अगाडि साझा सरकारले फोहोरमैला उठाउने ट्रक ल्याएर फोहोर्मैला उठायेपछी बल्ल दुर्गन्ध हतेको छ। ढिलो भएपनी अहिले परिवर्तन ल्याएकोमा आदमिनलाई बधाई छ।