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behoove_me
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 One Way Traffic
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Posted on 03-06-14 1:42 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Last edited: 26-May-14 10:53 PM

 
Posted on 03-06-14 2:09 PM     [Snapshot: 24]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Good job building authenticity into your narrative voice and packing an emotional punch. Reminds me of what Hemingway said : “No subject is terrible if the story is true , if the prose is clean and honest, and if it affirms courage and grace under pressure.”

Great going!




 
Posted on 03-06-14 2:22 PM     [Snapshot: 86]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Very touching and emotional. This one sure is a tear jerker.
 
Posted on 03-06-14 3:16 PM     [Snapshot: 159]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I wish I was in basement when I read it.
 
Posted on 03-06-14 4:56 PM     [Snapshot: 304]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 03-06-14 9:08 PM     [Snapshot: 487]     Reply [Subscribe]
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The sentiments expressed in your story are beautiful. We are often bound by our situation in life and we cannot always have everything we want or do what we wish to. Even so , I disagree with you in some ways. No matter how selfless our parents want to be, how can we let it be a one way traffic? If we feel concern we should show it. Let our old parents also find some comfort in that in their lonely old age.
 
Posted on 03-07-14 9:00 AM     [Snapshot: 757]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Behoove ji,

Absolutely awesome prose...... realistic ....

there is a saying in nepali "माया ओरालो बग्छ " रे ... meaning our parents love us unconditionally as their children and we inturn love our children and our children love their children.... it just keeps flowing.....

This made my heart heavy may be because somehow some portion of it portrays what I have been going through.... it was a great read my friend...

- thaha chaina
 
Posted on 03-07-14 11:59 AM     [Snapshot: 893]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Yet again another nicely crafted piece. Kudos to you and your writing man...
 
Posted on 03-07-14 1:32 PM     [Snapshot: 948]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Behoove, I always admire your story telling skills. Many of us always look forward to your write-ups. They are thought provoking as well as entertaining. Most of us can relate to the protagonist in this story with emotional quotient attached, be it in the form of parents and/or the motherland.
 
Posted on 03-07-14 5:37 PM     [Snapshot: 1085]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thank you for such a beautifully written story.
Exact emotions of almost everyone living abroad. This one way traffic wouldn't be so one way if we were back home and lived near or together. Distance makes it so much harder to be there for them at times of need. Sometimes, I wonder, is it all worth it? How can we abandon our parents who gave us unconditional love, never left our side and never doubted our potential? Oh, how I wish life had all the answers...
 
Posted on 03-07-14 6:57 PM     [Snapshot: 1150]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Definitely the best piece you've written in terms of the core material that almost all prabasis could relate to, someway or another. Truly I wish I could muster something commendable about your writings that definitely deserving something way better than my mundane thoughts.
 
Posted on 03-08-14 11:07 PM     [Snapshot: 1391]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Story of my life. Now I am gonna run to the bathroom.
 
Posted on 03-10-14 10:14 AM     [Snapshot: 1569]     Reply [Subscribe]
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What I like about your stories, other than the narrative and content, is that it opens itself up for further pondering and self debates.

You story will be very apt for most of us living abroad.I bet when we were growing up, we never thought we would be leaving our folks back home while we go through our life here..visiting them once a year at most.
But then you are introduced with ease of life here, better prospects and career and your obligation towards your new family and kids. Things change, responsibilities change.

I struggled with this, my responsibility to my folks and to my son. After living here over 20 years, I have decided to follow my responsibility to those who need it the most, my folks. My son will be just fine back home; I think my one way street will start at my son. Everybody's situation is different and there is no right or wrong. That's just what I have decided.
 
Posted on 03-10-14 11:00 AM     [Snapshot: 1602]     Reply [Subscribe]
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very thought provoking piece behoove_me

And to kiddo, I am pretty sure it was a tough decision for you. You must have thought long and hard to come to that decision but I for one, admire your thinking. Success is a relative term anyways and in this globalized world, the difference between boundaries and countries are getting smaller and smaller. I am pretty sure you would do just great back home. It is a third world country and it has its own set of challenges but it is not like first world is without its problems either. I personally think Nepal provides ample opportunities to live more spiritual and more fulfilling life although you won't have access to a lot of materialistic things. So if you set realistic expectations before you go back home, I am pretty sure you won't be disappointed. I salute your courage.
 
Posted on 03-10-14 1:23 PM     [Snapshot: 1690]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@jepayotyehi

Not sure I am deserving of the admiration. My decision is a selfish one nonetheless. I am not going back because I want to mend my country or do something for her, I actually plan to do something for Nepal but that's not why I am going back. I am going back because my old parents need me and I cannot live knowing that I pretty much abandoned them.
People have different circumstances, some of us are planning to have our folks over here after a while. Some think it is best if they stay here and their folks stay there. Nobody is right and nobody is wrong, we just do things that suits us and that's what I am doing.

As for adjusting life after returning to Nepal, I expect that but I am not sure I am ready for it. I have had a major overhaul in the way I think and my values since I left Nepal. I probably won't be able to go back to the values of my past that would have been easier to practice in Nepal. I will try to recalibrate myself a little without changing my values much. I hope not to get disappointed too much because I am not doing any favor to Nepal by going back; I need Nepal more than Nepal needs me.

Sorry Behoove to hijack your thread. Your fault on posting such a thought provoking story.
 
Posted on 03-13-14 1:06 PM     [Snapshot: 1968]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Dear Indira, Kiddo, Kali, rethink, vivant, Thane, karnali, bhakte, s_usa, adventurer, kancho, riddle and jepayotyahi, words have abandoned me to tell you how indebted I am for your replies and emopathies.

I didn’t realize it was a sensitive matter until after I posted it in sajha. I thought it was just my story but it appears everyone else, those who live overseas and have older parents at home could relate to it in so many different ways. So thank you everyone for visiting and making me realize I wasn’t the only person who was in similar predicament.

I’d like to give a shout out to kiddo for his choice in returning back to Nepal to be with his parents, it sure needs props. Kudos seriously. I am not sure how secure you are financially and from your career standpoint, but considering the person you are from your replies and inputs in sajha, those variables should have made no difference for you to make this magnanimous decision. Unfortunately for me it does, I still struggle to accept the fact that I will find a job (that comes with credibility and integrity) in Nepal. And even if I do, there will be a lot of pushbacks, actually from my parents the most. I guess I could bite the bullet and just start packing and turn deaf ears to all persuasions, but I cannot because I know for a fact I sincerely lack such valor.

On the same note I talked to one of my best friends over the weekend who plans to return back home soon to be with her family. So it seems there are actually few people who believe in it and understand how critical it is to be with our ailing parents. It made me feel more miserable to tell you the truth.

To your point Indira, I think my story was a little open for misinterpretation (for which I take the blame). I guess my point is, we are not talking about our inability to reciprocate love to our parents; it is about who do we focus more on, our parents or our kids? And when it comes to the latter I doubt anyone else would replace them.

One of the best part of it was I got a message from none other than Deep, who has disappeared from sajha (presumably for good reasons) these days, that he took an opportunity to go through this story. That meant a LOT to me. I wish he returned.

I’d like to apologize that I didn’t acknowledge your replies soon enough and brought this defunct thread back to the sajha homepage again, I had a roller coaster week at work since last.

Last edited: 13-Mar-14 01:07 PM

 


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